If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
