omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
