I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
