no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
