That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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