it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Vodka?
Forever.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
is it fun? or sober?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
