come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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