You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
