So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
