Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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