he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
