oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wish there were birth control emojis
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
