Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
