I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
