You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
