He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
