May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
