now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
