If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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