The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
