Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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