Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
