Pappa wants mamma naked
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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