I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
