i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
ttyl tear gas
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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