please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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