i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
