I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
