I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
