He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
