I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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