one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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