what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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