I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
