Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
