it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
