so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
