They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
