So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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