Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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