Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
