Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it glows. i had to have it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
