one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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