so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
third nipple confirmed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
