A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
