I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
