What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sext me about skeletons
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
