all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
