Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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