Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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