bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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