the day after is always just damage control
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
