He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
