There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
